Shadow Company and All Things Big and Small

You are all things, including all that you oppress.

Ripped Reminder June 2, 2017

 

Most of us spend immeasurable time working on figuring out what we think is good and/or bad about ourselves and others, and then evaluating our experiences and observations to determine if they match our criteria for what we’ve deemed good or bad. And then, in order to maintain a specific identity, we tirelessly strive to do just that – bolster those aspects of ourselves that we think we should be, and rid ourselves of, or not be, those things we think we shouldn’t be. Those that we push away in an attempt to protect our ego, identity, and self-image, fall into what some psychologists refer as, “The Shadow.”

Well, as an “n of Chris,” I offer you this proposed reality: you, I, and everyone else…ARE ALL THINGS…AND…that’s cool.  For example, if I’m trying to be objective and “real,” I am…

  • Nice and Mean
  • Rich and Poor
  • Intelligent and a Dumb Ass
  • Thoughtful and Thoughtless
  • Strong and Weak
  • Giving and Selfish
  • Patient and Impatient
  • Calm and Hectic
  • Male and Female
  • Present and Distant
  • Love and Fear
  • Accepting and Rejecting
  • Listening and Ignoring
  • Private and Public
  • Hard Working and Lazy
  • Hot and Cold
  • Open and Closed
  • Knowledgeable and Ignorant
  • Righteous and Wrong
  • Developing and Stagnant
  • One who Tries Hard and one who Gives up

You get the idea and the list goes on, and on.  I am the Yin and the Yang, the Light and the Darkness, the Truth and the Lie. These are all a part of “Me.”

 

This proposed realization offers me some relief in that no matter what I or anyone else thinks of me or who I am, I am, again, unavoidably all things, and again, so is everyone else…including you.  And that oppressing my awareness and acceptance of anything that I am (any aspect of me) is unproductive if not destructive, ultimately limits the love and help I can offer myself and others, and is, well, just silly because those aspects that I try to oppress will get expressed no matter what anyway and if I remain unaware of and try to reject them, I’ll have much less or no control over how I express them when they do come out. I am all things I think I want to be AND all things I think I don’t want to be. But who or what told me what I should and shouldn’t be?

One more point, instead of thinking of any particular aspect or trait as positive/good or negative/bad, think of them as “just is” – perhaps neutral – and refocus your limited time, as well as your attention on finding beneficial ways in which to express all of your traits because again, they ALL will be expressed with or without your awareness and guidance.

 

So if you/we all are all things…then who are YOU? My guess is that the “you” that you and anyone else thinks you are is based on our experiences with how often, loudly and long each aspect of you is expressed. But that’s just an initial idea.

So I ask you…

  • What aspects of you do you try to ignore, beat down, or get rid of? (Keep in the Shadow)
  • What aspects of others do you take issue with? They are aspects of you too; perhaps in your Shadow and aspects of you that you’ve not wanted to acknowledge?
  • What is the first aspect/trait of yourself that you try hard to keep in the Shadow, but are now willing to bring into the light of Love, and acknowledge and accept (and perhaps learn from), even if you continue to choose not to express it?

 

One Law,

Chris

A Conversation With Myself About Conversations With God

Hi. The following is an extract from my personal journal that I later thought might be intriguing for others to consider for themselves.    Should this likely charged topic compel you to respond, please do so with ideas that I and others could consider to help us understand this life we are in.  In no way do I claim that I’m “right” about anything below and I do NOT think that you or anyone else should think according to what I’ve written, it’s just where I’m at right now.  Know that I love you and that I know you love me too.  Thanks – Chris.

Some main points which I took away from the 1st of the 3 books entitled, Conversations with God, are the following:

  1. God created humans so that She could experience herself, because if she was all that existed, she could not – she needed something outside of herself to exist so she could essentially compare her own experience to something else and thus understand her own experience, and thus understand herself
  2. Love was all there was at first, but similar to the point above, when love was all there was, God could not really understand love, nor Her own experience, and thus nor herself.  As such, fear was made possible…the opposite of love.  From love and fear all other emotions are derived.

 

If these are somewhat accurate depictions of what I think I heard in the book, then isn’t it true that humans were created on this earth with the need for us to experience fear, and thus pain?  Is it true that God needs us to feel fear and pain in order accomplish the two points made above? And if that is true, would it also be plausible that we then CANNOT expect to avoid or easily dismiss fear and pain?  That they are purposefully difficult (for most of us) to deal with because in the dealing with fear and pain we learn the most about ourselves and thus God understands more about Herself? This might sound dismal at first, but it may also be freeing.

 

Because I’M SUPPOSED TO FEEL FEAR AND PAIN, (1) I can stop beating myself up for experiencing it (instead of thinking that I’m supposed to be able to avoid it or immediately manage it down, etc.); (2) accept the fact that I and others are going to do things that result in fear and pain – there is no other option – it is necessary and essentially a directive from God; (3) more so, that it is actually ESSENTIAL for I and others to do things that somehow result in me and others feelings of fear and pain; that it is perhaps God’s need of us so that She can experience herself, and understand herself and love?

 

SAID SOMEWHAT DIFFERENTLY

 

Each of us are pieces of God with divine souls, physical bodies, and an experience processor called the mind.  The divinity within each of us, our soul, is simply Love.  But, we forget that we are drops of God and divinely Love, and so we go about a life that can help us remember, and understand that we are points of God and at our soul center, Love.  We thus are here to experience ourselves, and part of that is to necessarily experience the opposite of Love – fear – b/c if Love is all we experienced, we would not be able to really know it.  Therefore, we must experience fear, and pain. There is no choice.  So for me, I need NOT judge myself for feeling fear or pain – which is usually what I’m down on myself for.  Feeling down about something that’s happened is one thing (e.g., someone getting mad at me), but me also getting sad about me getting sad that someone was mad at me is not something I think is worth ANYTHING because I MUST get sad at stuff – it is necessary for me to remember who I am.  My JOB is to use those feelings!  Might I then get ‘secondarily sad’ when I simply stay sad from the first event and not use it to help me remember who I really am? Yes; not might…I now do.  So when I now recognize this going forward, I can remind myself that (1) I’m SUPPOSED to have these initial sad (etc) feelings; (2) that there is something to learn from here to help me remember who I am; and (3) I have the choice to dig into it and do the learning, or not – but that not doing it delays me remembering who I really am, and/or results in learning less about who I really am.  ON THE OTHER HAND…one might say that the ‘secondary sadness’ too is an experience that can help me remember who I really am, and help God understand who She is…and this seems reasonable, for I would not be writing this piece right now had I not realized that I was experiencing this ‘secondary sadness.’ Writing this piece is hopefully the completion of the lesson/leaning I need from it though because I am learning from it, AND I think that I can more and more quickly go about my quest to remember who I am with this purported realization.

 

MORE

 

So perhaps God put things like saber tooth tigers on the earth to help create fear in humans so that She could then experience the opposite of love.  AND perhaps God put fear of things into us to keep us alive because if we didn’t fear saber tooth tigers we would get killed by them which would then eliminate God’s opportunity to experience Herself (b/c we wouldn’t be around for Her to experience Herself through us b/c She couldn’t then experience Herself outside of Herself without us around).  Fear keeps us alive so that we are alive for God to experience Herself by experiencing things outside of Herself.

 

Then the question is, without saber tooth tigers around, what is meant by “alive”?  What is the purpose of fear now? What kind of “alive” does it help us stay now?  What are the saber tooth tigers now? Or are we simply old models that still retain a relatively useless reptilian brain?

 

If all we experienced were statistics in our heads – and essentially no emotions, leading to everyone thinking very similar things, would we all die, b/c we would all have mostly the same conclusions about things which would make the entire race susceptible to the same elements that could wipe us out? Does this suggest that we MUST continue to have a limbic system in order to create vast variances between peoples so that the total race survives? Additionally, if we removed the limbic system and thus reduced the inputs into our decision making, and if there were far fewer variances in decisions made thus creating a much smaller range of life experiences, would that be unacceptable for God because She then would not be able to experience Herself nearly as much?  So in order for Her to experience herself as much as She wants to, do we need vast variances in decisions and thus does She need a factor that creates said variances which is the limbic system? And then again translated to the idea that we are all rays of God, is all this needed for us as individuals to experience ourselves fully, and remember who we really are?  MUST we too have the limbic system in order to create large variances in decisions and thus life experiences?

One Law,

 

Chris

 

Crazy for 8s

Ripped Reminder Jan 17, 2017

“My life didn’t please me, so I created my life.” ― Coco Chanel

Chris’ Commentary

Life gets (is) crazy. Sometimes we perceive a/our situation as out of control which then leads us to feeling trapped, powerless and often fearful of the unknown, AND fearful of the idea that the situation will never change and we’ll be stuck forever.  Pay attention to what you do next.  From what I understand, most people (me included!) enter a “Crazy 8” where they cycle back-and-forth between sadness/bitterness/depression, and anger/rage/frustration (and all related feelings) – see the image below.  For example, you might experience this as alternating between self-pity and wanting to kick someone’s a$$.

Image result for crazy 8 symbol

Also know that when one enters the Crazy 8, they’ll typically start on one side or the other and then cycle back-and-forth; I start on the anger side of the 8.

So yes, you could try to avoid the Crazy 8 altogether forever and yes, we are trying to create a civilization on Mars too…or, you could learn how to recognize and exit it…in healthy ways.

  1. Unhealthy ways: berating someone for having “done something to you,” drugs or alcohol to dampen the feeling, gamble, anything else that provides you with temporary distraction.
  2. Healthy options:
    • Change your model of the world and/or your rules of the game
    • Get better at recognizing the triggers that make you feel out of control and find different “go to” solutions to either side of the 8 (e.g., finding love and lessons in the situation, etc., etc., etc.)
    • Stop thinking the situation is happening TO you and realize that (1) YOU are causing the situation and/or (2) YOU are causing your perception of being out of control and/or (3) life is happening FOR you and not TO you
    • Be your creative human self and write down at least 3 possible ideas to either regain the control you think you’ve lost, or to enjoy and profit from the situation as it is

Which side of the Crazy 8 do you enter?

The last time you got yourself out of a tailspin in a healthy way, what did you do? How did you do it? Learn from that experience for the next time you find yourself feeling powerless.

One Law,

 –          Chris

A Message in an Emotion

Ripped Reminder January 20, 2017

EVERY emotion has a message for you.  APPRECIATE the message.
“Negative” emotions are simply signals that YOU want something changed.

 Chris’ Commentary

Let’s say I’m in a meeting presenting a new project idea, I state an opinion, and someone else says, “Really, Chris?” with a very harsh look of disdain on his face, and I get angry at that response.  Why? Hmmm…let’s first return to our 6 core human needs: Certainty/ Security/ Safety; Variety; Significance; Love/Connection; Growth; Contribution.

In my case, I got angry because I was trying to rally support (connection) for a new project (variety, growth, contribution), and I was afraid that his words/actions would cause others to reject the idea which would mean I couldn’t then do the project (loss of variety, contribution, growth), and that “made” me feel trapped (unsafe) and unable to do something that would have taught me a lot (loss of growth) and helped thousands of people (loss of contribution).  And, if I’m being honest, not being about to do the project would mean that I would lose the chance to “shine” (loss of significance), and quite possibly get worried about retaining my job (certainty). And, I thought I had a real connection with that person and his words/actions (the harsh disdain) made me feel like the connection was lost.

 So what did I learn from getting angry from the response I got?

  • I don’t think I’m contributing enough to the world in general…and there are still plenty of other ways to do so even if the project gets squashed
  • I care too much about what others think of me as a source of significance…I’m significant by default so who cares
  • I care about retaining a connection with that person…and I can turn my emotions to curiosity to understand his skepticism
  • Perhaps I jump to conclusions way too quickly and that I interpreted his words/actions NOT as he meant them (maybe he just sucked on a really sour candy at the same time!!!)
  • I need a new job that has more variety and growth incorporated into the position/function [hypothetically speaking, my colleagues!!!]

 

Think of an event, thought, or experience that generated an emotion…ANY emotion, even “positive” ones.
What about YOU created that emotion from that event, thought, or experience?
What needs did you think were being filled or threatened from it?
What can you realize about yourself and what you want based on those needs?
What do you want to discover now that you’ve thought that through?

 

One Law,

Chris